While running on the treadmill this morning, I saw this Purex commercial
which featured a disturbing fish man character who, as far as I could tell with the sound down, appeared to be heckling a housewife in her laundry room about what I imagine could only have been one of two subjects:
The unholy and unspeakable reek of her family’s dirty clothes, or…
A dark and horrible secret of her ancestry that will soon be revealed by the unveiling of a gruesome atavism with horrifying implications.
Learn more in The Shadow Over Purex. As horrifying as all of this was, it still paled by comparison to the episode of the supernaturally unfunny Ellen Degeneres talk show that was playing on the adjacent television. Shudder.